GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
