Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
