Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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