If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
