I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
