I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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