Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
