Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
