I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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