So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
this just has baby written all over it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
