he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
accomplished twins. life is a go
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
