And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize