how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Enjoy the penises
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
