I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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