piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Too much gin, very little bucket
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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