he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
