now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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