Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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