Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize