Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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