Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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