I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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