@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
