She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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