Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize