Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
