Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think i have herpe
just one?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
