There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
