so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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