Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
