It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize