if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
