we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
