It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
a search helicopter?!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
