It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
