"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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