I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
