I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
