Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
