Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize
