I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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