Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
