sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
