i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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