Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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