Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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