u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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