We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
