You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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