Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
