Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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