Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
