how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
