well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
