I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize