Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
