He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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