This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
