Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
