I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
