he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
