Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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