You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
