this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
