Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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