using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
