Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize