Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
