Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
