she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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