let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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