Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I wish I could teleport
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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