you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
