Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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