Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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