hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
