Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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