WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
