We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
