It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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